Being Envious of ADHD

Thanks in large part to a global effort to de-stigmatize mental health, the public (At least, from what I have seen) has shifted it’s perception and understanding of mental disorders. Doctors, psychologists, and famous people with ADHD  have done their part in changing the face of disorders like ADD and ADHD.

As the Neuro-typical Parter…

With a boyfriend who has ADHD, I often watch his symptoms play out in his daily life. Sometimes I am curious, knowing that I will never understand him the way he does in his own brain, but curious as to whether or not I can  shed light on his ADHD traits that he might not yet be aware are so valuable?

He is Creative-

• A trait I am rather envious of. Sure, I might be in the present moment, appreciating the world around me as we walk down the streets here in Bali. But he is actively coming up with new ideas. We are vloggers, so, most of our day consists of creating content. Would our videos, our instagram content, and our reach be as good, if it wasn’t for his ADHD traits causing him to always be on the hunt for new and clever ideas? I don’t think so. He is the one who pushes me hard in the field, as I struggle with feeling stuck or overcome with lack of creativity.

He Is An Excellent List Maker-

• And I live off of his lists. If It wasn’t for him documenting, in detail, the tasks and responsibilities that must get done, I would let many of them slip through the cracks. Because he doesn’t  take any medication for his ADHD traits, he frequently scribbles lists to help him manage his symptoms. I simply go with the flow. Making lists feels constricting to me, like I am keeping myself in a box of all these tasks that I can’t be happy with until I finish. But for him, he loves the organization of the real world, as it helps the chaos inside his mind become a little more organized too. Thanks to his lists, I know when we must accomplish the tasks at hand. I know when we have something important to do that day.

Maybe I rely on his lists instead of making my own because I am lazy, or it feels unisteresting. Either way, I am envious of his organization (Which again, I know it is unusual for an ADHD person to be so organized but it helps him to not have to medicate).

I Wish I Didn’t Overthink All of My Decisions-

My boyfriend is the king of impulsive. Sometimes that can get him in a bit of trouble… but he is a good hearted person, so it mostly turns out to be either funny, or very rewarding. When it comes to where to eat for dinner, or should I post that post, or a million other decisions that adults have to make in a 24hr span… I struggle. I think so much about what the consequences of those decisions might be, whereas my boyfriend just goes with his gut. Right away. Almost every time! I am envious of his ability to just impulisvely make decisions.

If I could think that way, it would eliminate useless thinking and evaluation of the “Outcome”, as I never actually know what will happen. Neither does my boyfriend, which he understands well. His ADHD trait of impulsiveness works out in his favor most of the time, and I am trying to learn this skill myself!

Google “ADHD” traits, and nearly every article will explain them to you like they are bad symptoms. With a little word rearranging, one can see the plus sides and the helpful sides of these traits. One can learn how to flip the negative tone and make these “symptoms” be positive.

Of course there are traits that sometimes come with ADHD that may not be looked at favorably, but there are certain traits that I think make ADHD a superpower, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t even a little envious of those.

Written by,

Kayla