Don’t Let Others Choose For You

Stereotypically, the best art, music, and poetry come from an artist who has experienced deep emotions and translate those fiercely into their work.

Let’s see if those parameters apply to a blog as well….

We all fall out of a womb at one point, and then stumble around blind untill we die. Or at least, that is what it feels like I am doing. Sure, we have parents and friends who guide us, give us advice and try to keep us from making their same mistakes… but ultimately, every choice from what we study in school, down to which socks to wear tomorrow morning, are decisions we make for ourselves, to the best of our abilities.

And we are only human, dealing with this immense pressure from society and relatives to always make the best decisions, and often times we let those people down, or fail to make the choices that they would have chosen for us, given the chance.

In reality, a lot of the decisions our inner voices urge us to make can and do go against societal norms, a recipe for outcasting. But that is the beauty, that everyone is unique, just like everybody else.If you are struggling to make a difficult decision that goes against the wishes of those you love, or the standard parameters that your culture sets for your life, then keep reading.

I grew up with very liberal parents, in Florida, USA. But as accepting of others as they were, and despite the amount of times I was taught to not judge others for their beliefs, color of their skin, or life choices, I seemed to be an acception to them.Mom and Dad were open minded in many ways, to different cultures and religions, never commenting rude opinions or judgements. But when it came to my choices or my decisions, it was always “No you can’t, because they will think ‘this’ way about you”. Or, “Don’t do that, because how am I going to explain that to your grandmother”.

I believed that we were all free to make our own decisions, and thankfully, they instilled me with this value of being as accepting of all people.

Then, I dropped out of college. I got a tattoo. I pierced my bellybutton. I wanted to travel and live nomadically with little money, attempting the self growth and exploration goals I had dreamed of since I was a little girl. They did not approve of this, and before I could shed a tear, they had given me 60 days to move out of the house and never contact them for money ever again.

Truthfully, this was the push I needed to start following my dreams of being a traveling content creator. I had the comforts of home, (after moving back in at 24 becuase I had no place else to go) food in the fridge when I needed it, and the safety of parental oversite.

So, I packed. Society wanted me to go back to college, not my parents. Neither of them went to University, but believed that in order for me to succeed or fit into the puzzle of our modern day economic society, that I had to follow the path laid out for me by said entity. I know so many people like me, who dream of achieving something outside the realm of their loved ones wishes, but many of those people cave, and revert to completing whatever task had been assigned to them since nearly birth.

Making your own choices in life can be intimidating, especially after having someone else make them for you since you can even remember. But it’s addicting. Once you follow your heart, just once, you are hooked, at least I know that I am. The hollywood “rebellious” teen showcases this addiction, but we paint “rebellious” in such dark color, rather than acknowledging that though there are many people who’se puzzle pieces fit perfectly into society, modern day society is not for everyone. And THAT should be okay.

Nothing is for everyone. Introduce me to even a set of twins that are so identical that they literally want, care, and feel in every exact same way, and I will delete this article.

But nothing is for everyone, that is the beauty in our uniqueness. We have this desire for others, for the ones we love, to “achieve” whatever it is we believe is right for them to achieve, in our own eyes, but we are simply viewing these people from the filter of our own experiences… guaranteed to be a much different filter from the one they view the world through.

No one dictates my life. I barely even do, I just go with the flow in the present moment and do what feels right to my inner voice. Others are more than welcome to guide me, I welcome that guidance with open ears and an open heart. But ultimately, I am going to take the decisions that will make me happy, take me closer to where I want to go, and follow the path that I imagine for myself.

I hope you will do the same. I hope you won’t let toxic friends, relatives, or loved ones be your life map, because every human has the right to write their own map for themsevles. Take that risk that goes against your culture, and laugh at those in your circle who snob their noses at you, for those aren’t true friends you want in your life anyway. Make decisions for YOUR future, not the future your family wants for you. You have to live it, not them, and just like my family who contacted me after several months with an apology and with the high hopes of opening up lines of communication with their daughter again, yours will come around once they see you happy with your own decisions.

My parents just believed I wouldn’t be happy unless I followed their road map, but upon the realization that I have the ability to make my own happiness from within, under whatever the circumstance, they came back around.Yours will eventually, too.

Stop caring about what other people think, about what other people want for your life, and you will find extreme happiness in your own decisions.

I am rooting for you.

Written by, Kayla

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